Well there has been a lot that has gone on in the last week with my oldest daughter. I have hesitated sharing this but I feel as though I should.
My oldest daughter has had many insecurities about who she is and has always sought for the approval of others to find her happiness. As a result she has had a hard time finding and making new friends. This is hard for her because she seeks the approval of those friends. To make things harder when she was in her 5th grade year we both talked it over and prayed about it and decided to take her out of school the middle of her 5th grade year. She has done well with being at home and learning but I know she has missed the interaction of her peers. She is blessed to have a few good friends at church. This year she started a scholar class at a leadership academy. She has done well with this and I have seen great growth and strength come from what she has accomplished in this class. But I see her struggle still in finding out who she is. I fear she compares herself with others and relies on others and things to make her happy. She has had an attitude at home lately and with that a bit of disrespect for me and her brothers and sisters and the family rules. I felt impressed to take away all that she has and all her privileges. (This was so far the hardest thing I have had to do as a parent). She was pretty defiant and did not care that all she had was gone. Her attitude was that of "I don't care" It was really hard for me to stay calm. I just kept praying and remembering that she was and is a daughter of God and asked myself what would Heavenly Father do if he were here?
On one particular night last week I again caught her stealing a big no no in our family. She had lost everything and so I had to be creative in what I came up with to do take from her. She loves her shorts and wears them year round.... and so I did....take away her shorts. She was furious at me. She came unglued and became verbally aggressive. Then she became physically agressive. And then she tried to cut herself. It was pretty bad. In the end I had to call the police, and she did cut herself. I was terriffied for her and what she must be feeling like inside and I felt so helpless I had no idea how to help her. I prayed that she would feel some peace, some relief, some type of love. When the officer came to our door it happened to be the dad of one of her friends in our ward. I knew that he was sent her from God. God answers our prayers in ways we never expect and in ways that we sometimes don't understand. As the night ended she was happy again. I know that this life was not meant to be a care free easy life, but rather a life of trials mixed with happiness! A life of constant learning and growing! It is up to us how we live and how we react to each trial that is given us!
My oldest Daughter has been doing much better this week she has been happy, cheerful, obedient, and honest! Like I said in a previous post, our children do come with instructions but it is we as parents that must seek out those instructions from who they come from, Heavenly Father! He is real and he does talk to us but we must seek him out.
We must ponder out what to do in our minds, study, and then take our questions to the Lord, he knows his children and wants us all to return to live with him! I know that as we take our problems to Him he listens and then answers us. It is us that must have faith and trust that he will not leave us alone! My oldest is on a point system for earning her things back and I feel blessed that she has been willing to do this. She earned 33 out of 35 points last week, I would say that is pretty darn near perfect! She really is a strong young woman with some pretty hard trials not all of her choosing. Being a child with parents going through a divorce is probably the hardest thing a child will ever go through. I hate that all of my kids are going through this I see the pain it has caused them and I wish I could take that pain away from them. But I know that they will in the end be healed by the atonement. It just breaks my heart to see them suffer like this.
Anyways hard times makes us stronger in the end.
Lots of love,
Sally
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment