It has been a while but I am still here

I have not felt much like writing but I am here to tonight. I have had a great day!! Getting much done. This morning I got up and showered. Got the kids breakfast and dressed hair done and teeth brushed and off to school for the older 3. Then I got the rest of the younger ones ready for the day, did some laundry and then bundled the kids and took them and our new Dog (Christmas Present)on a walk. It was a beautiful morning. It was fun!!! I came home and put on byu TV (on the internet) and listened to talks given by genral authorities as I played with the kids. It was kind of nice to just sit and play. I am usually doing something along the lines of playing around on the internet or cleaning the house. It was nice that the house was clean and I could just relax.


This afternoon while the kids had quiet time I cleaned the boys room, taking the toddler bed out and moving Michael to a big boy bed!! Kind of sad for me to think that this little boy is growing up so fast. He is still a very fun and snuggly little boy and I hope that he will always be that way:) Oh how I love my almost 4 year old. It seems like just yesterday he was placed into my arms.
The time seems so fleeting. I can not believe that I have been married for 11 wonderful years of many trials and many triumphs. In some ways it was just yesterday that we were married in the temple for time and all eternity. Honestly Marriage is a hard thing for me. I sometimes want to give up and as soon as I think that I am reminded of those sacred covenants that I have made with my wonderful husband and a loving Heavenly Father and it seems to be a bit easier to overcome. It was not meant to be easy but as we obey the commandments and love our Father in Heaven, and stay close to the spirit then The Lord makes it possible for us to make good choices and see the bigger picture more clearly. I love my Husband even though we disagree on many things. We both love our Savior and rely on him for many things. I was watching a devotional talk given by Elder Scott today and he had a young married couple he talked to, He asked them a question about do they agree on every thing to which they responded "No" He then asked them " What do you do then?" They said when neither of then agree on something they seek guidance from their Father in Heaven through Prayer. What an amazing answer that is. David and I have not been the best at regular Companion Prayer, Mostly me, and I do not know why. I used to be very diligent in prayer night and morning. It was like brushing my teeth if I had not brushed yet I was not ready to conquer the world. That was me and praying. When I got married I felt that I no longer had that private space in which I could pour out my heart to my Father. I do not know where that all went but I yearn for that again. There are weeks when I am really good at it and then I lapse again taking me time to get back to praying. The same goes for studying my scriptures. In High School I never missed a day reading my scriptures no matter where I was I had my scriptures and I read them, this continued into college and them I graduated college and had a hard time keeping up with a routine. Then I got married and had kids and find it hard to find a quiet time to study, and so I do good for awhile and then I lapse again.

Last year my goal for the year was to keep a cleaner house and well I did good for many months at that I went on vacation and and never got back into the groove of things again. SO My new goal for this year is to Pray every day and as I do that then implement my scripture study into my routine. But I do feel like as I pray I will feel more at peace and be able to make better judgments as a mother and wife for my family. I think that consistence in my personal spiritual progress will strengthen me and my family.

I know that this has been a rambling post but this is my journal and way to express my self. Lucky readers that read will know my feelings and thoughts :)