It is late and I can not seem to fall asleep

I have been laying in bed now for over 2 hours and can not seem to fall a sleep.  I keep thinking about the situation I am in with my family.  I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for those around me right now.  I talked to a dear sweet friend of mine till 11 pm tonight.  She is much older than I has weathered many a storms.  I believe that there are people in our lives placed there for reasons we may not know but Heavenly Father does know.  I believe each have something to teach us along our path to perfection.  I have always put everything I have into relationships.  Each relationship I encounter deserves all of my attention.  Now not every relationship will require the same amount of energy, but each one will get my attention.  I have also come to realize that my honest and heart felt love for each of these friends has to be guarded for sometime and given out in little bits as so not to get hurt.  A relationship has to built line up line.  And that patience has to be practiced.  The guidance of the spirit has to followed and that if things are pushed faster then the Lord allows then relationships can be hurt. Such has been the case in a few of my relationships.  I often find my self feeling guilty talking about relationships because of my failing relationship with my husband.  But I truly feel that I have learned so much in the past year that I need to share my feelings of what I have learned.  I am not perfect and when I hear or feel impressed by others or the spirit I feel that I learn and put into practice what I have learned.  I have learned that being open and up front is very important in building a strong foundation of trust with one that you wish to be friends with.  Do not open up to someone all at once though this takes time to let your heart open up.  There are good memories that we want to share and naturally those are the ones that come out first for me.  I tend to want to please others and want them to like me.  As I have grown close to my friends I want to learn more of them, to see what they are like and what they like doing.  So the question and answer sessions begin.  As time goes on a relationship of trust is built.  I have many friends that I have this type of relationship with and that is where it stays.  We simply share in the same interests and tend to do things together that we enjoy doing and that is that.  For me that is all I need most of the time.  But their are day when the sorrow of my heart begin to be heavy and some days those pains are unbearable at times.  This is when I find that My Father in Heaven gives me the courage to share with dear friends the pains that I can not seem to bear any longer.  I have in my lifetime only had a few close friends that I have been able to share with the deep sorrows of my heart.  In particular sense my mom has been gone it has been hard.  Sometimes I write my feelings out instead.  Yesterday I was sitting in the temple and I has a sudden sadness come over me.  I feel like I am beginning to forget things about mom that I do not want to forget.  I was looking at my hands and suddenly could not remember what her hands looked like.  I know that sounds silly but it was hard for me.  I wanted to remember but could not.  I could see her hands but I could not picture the lines or see her nails shape anymore.  It was all fading too fast and I was so sad by all of that memory.  I could not hear her voice either.  The voice that on the other end of the phone would often say hello to me, I could not hear it at all  After mom died I was comforted by my Uncle and I relied on him for so much comfort and support. I am grateful for that love and concern he has felt for me, I feel as though he has taken me under his wing and treated me as if I were one of his kids.  What a blessing it has been to me.

I must go on about this later as I am now getting tired and it is 3:30am.... Sleepless nights, not my favorite thing but thankfully tomorrow is Saturday.....