Marriage Matters

I have been thinking alot about my Marriage and life and happiness and where I fit in all of this. Life was so wonderful and easy when I was single. A care free life stlye that is what I was living. Then one day I saw this amazing young man that was very interesting and I started to find ways to get to know him. I remember wanting to be loved first. Yet he did not really pay attention to me at first. It took some time. He asked me out on a date and I thought yes now he is paying attention to me. We went out and all I wanted to do was hold hands. Now looking back I saw myself as selfish and him as cautious. I was mad and thought that he did not like me and why did he ask me out. I have sense come to a consenses that a relationship of any kind has to grow, it does not already come full grown ready to work. No one must plant a seed and then nurish it and care for it and if that ever stopped be prepared for it to die.
Today I feel like I have stopped nurishing that seed and it is slowing wilting. I see my wonderful husband still watering it and caring for it, but why have I stopped. I guess it is alittle of two things my own selfishness and the things of the would have clouded my veiw of what my marriage really is all about. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband very much a love that just needs more of my attention. I have a hard time balancing my time. Sense having children my efforts have shifted and I am now charged with raising 5 wonderful children. They are sweet and beautiful. I would never want to hurt them. I teach them all I know and as they grew and mature I am realizing they are watching me and doing as I do. They are learning what I teach them. And some things I wish for them not to do but my example is strong. They have learned to be harsh to one another and to their parents. I am not hear to badger myself and put me down only hear to say that we are all doing things at some point or another that we do not want our kids to do or say or act. I have been working at this for some time to make things different in our home and I realize that this will take much longer to correct then it was to teach. By trying to keep my calm and find the possitive things that are around me I have seen more smiles and less saddness in my children. But how do I do this with my husband. I think to myself he is an adult and he should know better. I try to correct him only to find that I hurt him and then I feel bad too. I know that the only way to help me see my husband for who he is and not what he may do or say is The Lord our Savior Jesus Christ. To him I am grateful for his love and mercy. For the gift of repentance. I know that through the Atonement of our Savior is the only way to contiune to nurish and care for our marriage. As I kneel in prayer to ask for help and guidenece and forgiveness that it will come, sometimes slowly but it does come and the peace enters. This is one eternal round and we must constantly do this so that we may keep the seed nurished.


I love my husband and could not do life without him. He is truley wonderful!!!!!!