I love the Quote I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it. I am having one of those weeks. I just want to cry. I do not know why but I feel like I am all alone and what I think and say every one is taking offence to. What do I do to stop feeling this way. I just want life to be normal again to slow down and relax again. I just want to quite at life and be done.Is this normal to think this way do I need help. It seems when I need help the most I feel all alone . Some people try to help but I just push them away, when really inside I am crying out for help desperatly. This time of year is also hard on me. I have not been to my families house for Christmas for 7 years and unless we move there or become rich will not be driving there over mountain passes. They are not fun to drive over even during the summer. Plus with 6 kids it is long for them when they are so little. Why I am sharing this with every one I do not know. Only that this is my means of expressing my feelings and so I blog my good days and my bad days in hopes that people see that I am normal and have just as many good days as bad.
Do you ever feel like it is hard for you to make and keep friends because of your kids. I do is that bad. I love my kids and would do anything for them. It is hard when I feel like people look down on me as a mom when I have a son that looses control like 98% of the day. Like lady contronl your son can't you see that he is hurting my kid make him stop and control him. We are doing the best that we can. I do not know what to do. I lay awake at night thinking of what we can do to help our son and teach him some how of why it is important not to hurt others and stay out of their space, but day after day it becomes harder and harder. All of my other kids seem to get it and have love and affection for others, but this one he has the hardest time and it scares me so much that one day he may not be able to live here in our home with us. I mean he does have good days but it seems like mostly bad days lately. I know that he does have feelings of sorrow because when he does something to hurt someone on accident he is very concerned and wants to help make them feel better, But when he acts on impulse he does not stop it is like he becomes a robot or it is as if there is something telling him to do it. weird, and scary. If there is to much stimulation then he is set off or if there is not something for his mind to think or do then he does it, meaning go pick on an innocent little person, ever sense he was a toddler. Why I have to go through this I do not know yet, but I hope that soon I learn so it can get easier for me. I just keep praying that I can make it one more day, with out giving up. Please Father help me with your precious son that I love so dearly. Is it ok to have a mommy break just once with no kids. If only I had a brave soul to take six kids for an hour or too. I need a temple break!!! Father plesae send someone to rescue me.
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3 comments:
Oh, Hon! I wish I could come rescue you! Sally, I think that one of the good things you are doing is recognizing that you have a problem, that you are depressed. I know just what it is like to struggle with post-postpartum depression. It's not just you. It is normal to feel like you just want to stay in bed all day and tell everyone to take a hike. What helped me was actually taking a hike myself. It is easier said than done because the last thing you want to do is get off the couch, but exercise TOTALLY helped me get through PPD with my first two kids. Also, make sure you are getting enough iron, and enough vitamin d. Vit D comes from sunshine. Just 15 minutes of sunshine will perk you up, sweet thing.I don't know what to tell you about your sweet boy, but I know that you are the best mom he could ever have. Your kids are really lucky to have you, even if you aren't fully functional right now.
Sally, you are not alone feeling this way. I have felt this way many times since Lillie was born and going through different things with Seth. You are a WONDERFUL mother with six sweet little children. I hope you feel better soon. We love you so much and miss you!
Keep praying for J. With Heavenly Father's help, he will get there.
Sally, I hope that you are able to find the joy and miracle of this season and that it can bring you peace. I am sorry about your post-partum. That is always hard. You are a wonderful mother to those children. You inspire me to be a better mother. Sorry to hear of the struggles with Joseph. I think you are doing the right things there. Keep communicating with Heavenly Father and he will help you. Maybe you can split the kids up so you can go to the temple. Have someone take two and someone else take two....etc. Just a thought. I know you will be able to find peace there. Sally, I want you to know that I think you are an amazing woman. I am constantly amazed with the love that you have for your family and others. I am inspired by your spirit and closeness to our Heavenly Father. Keep your chin up! We need to get together soon. I have been thinking about you a lot lately.
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